Q How do I break up with my abuser? Breaking up with an abusive partner can be very different from breaking up with someone who isn’t abusive. Because abusers believe that they are entitled to control you, they may not let you break up with them. If you’re considering breaking up with an abusive partner it’s important to talk it though with an adult you trust. You may want to fill out a safety plan to help you stay safe. You will need to be prepared for your abuser trying to ‘win you back’. Writing a list of all the reasons why you weren’t happy in the relationship may help you stay strong.   Click here to download a PDF factsheet.
Q How do I please a girl? Every girl is different and is going to enjoy different things.  Again, it comes back to communicating with your partner about what they enjoy and what they don’t by asking questions and being honest with each other.  Foreplay is a very important part of getting each other ready for sex, so take your time exploring each other’s bodies and discovering what you do and don’t like. Remember too, that what you might have seen in porn is not a realistic picture of what girls or guys really enjoy.
Q When I’ve watched porn, the guys all cum on the girls face or on her boobs. This really grosses me out and I’m scared that my boyfriend will want to do it. What should I say to him? This is a really good opportunity to talk with your boyfriend about what you like and don’t like and what he likes and doesn’t like.  Often these conversations are easier to have when you’re fully clothed and doing something else! Many people don’t like the things that porn teaches us about sex and so it’s really important that you can talk to your partner about these things. Remember that porn gives us a very narrow view of women, men and sexual activity – like all movies, it’s not real. Porn also has a bad habit of portraying men as sexually aggressive and women as objects to have sex TO not have sex WITH.
Q Is it ok to look at porn? This is a really personal decision and can be a very sensitive issue.  People have very different feelings and opinions about porn. For a lot of young people, viewing porn is their first experience of sex so it is important to remember that porn can give people unrealistic ideas about sex, sexual acts, what women look like, what men look like and what people enjoy in sexual relationships. A lot of on- line porn involves acts of degradation and violence that do not reflect respectful behaviour in real life relationships.