Q Is it ok to look at porn? This is a really personal decision and can be a very sensitive issue.  People have very different feelings and opinions about porn. For a lot of young people, viewing porn is their first experience of sex so it is important to remember that porn can give people unrealistic ideas about sex, sexual acts, what women look like, what men look like and what people enjoy in sexual relationships. A lot of on- line porn involves acts of degradation and violence that do not reflect respectful behaviour in real life relationships.
Q How can I not be so shy around the opposite sex? It’s very normal to feel shy around the opposite sex, although knowing that doesn’t make it easier to behave in a more outgoing way! If we worry too much about getting a girlfriend/boyfriend, then we start to worry too much about what people of the opposite sex think of us and this creates more shyness. If you’re really uncomfortable around boys/girls start by making a few friends with some. You may feel less pressure if you don’t have to worry about whether they like you or not (in that way), or if they are going to try and kiss you! The more time we spend doing something that is uncomfortable, the less uncomfortable it becomes.
Q What is foreplay? Foreplay is any sexual activity that happens before penetrative sex, for example; kissing, touching, digital penetration and mutual masturbation. It is a way for both males and females to become physiologically and emotionally ready for sex and can certainly increase the pleasure for both of you throughout sex. It is also a way to explore and experiment what does and what doesn’t excite your partner. It’s really important to communicate with each other during the process so that each of you knows what the other is comfortable with. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you are uncomfortable and continually check-in with your partner to make sure they are consenting and comfortable throughout the entire process.
Q What’s the big deal about naked women in popular culture – isn’t it good that women are feeling empowered to be sexual? There are a couple of things that make this a big deal. Firstly, many of the women we see on music vids and stuff like that aren’t being naked because they choose to be. They are usually naked to sell something – to make money for somebody else. That makes them a commodity – a product – and that makes them objectified. The easiest way for one person to be violent towards another person is to turn them in to an object ... it’s much easier to hurt an object than a person. Another thing that makes this a big deal is that it assumes that women are only valued for being hot. These same women who are being ‘empowered’ by being naked aren’t being empowered (or valued) for being smart, funny, witty, talented, courageous, quirky, adventurous – all of those things that make us REAL. If mainstream pop culture was really open to all expressions of female sexuality and not simply presenting women's bodies as objects to be ogled, then we wouldn't be seeing the same body types in the same poses again and again.