Q What is rape culture? Rape culture is a complex series of beliefs that encourages male sexual aggression and supports violence against women. It is a society where violence is seen as sexy. In a rape culture, both men and women assume that sexual violence is a fact of life and that there is nothing that anyone can do to change that. It’s a culture that teaches, “Don’t get raped” instead of “Don’t rape”. It is a culture where men are expected to be hyper-masculine (aggressive, tough, and violent) and women are expected to be submissive and sexually objectified (compliant, passive, and sexually available).  Clearly, this belief is wrong. Most men are not sexually violent. And no woman ever ‘asks’ to be raped. The problem is that rape culture limits us to behaving in one particular way and people are so much more than some dumb stereotype sold to us by people that want our money.
Q How will I know if I have the right hole? Obviously this is referencing heterosexual sex.  Firstly, it’s ok for you to ask her to help.  Have your partner guide you.  This means that you also know she is comfortable.  Also, our bodies are built so that when a couple is in what is called ‘missionary position’  (that is when the man is on top and the woman is on the bottom facing him)  it is very difficult for the penis to penetrate the anus.
Q How do I please a girl? Every girl is different and is going to enjoy different things.  Again, it comes back to communicating with your partner about what they enjoy and what they don’t by asking questions and being honest with each other.  Foreplay is a very important part of getting each other ready for sex, so take your time exploring each other’s bodies and discovering what you do and don’t like. Remember too, that what you might have seen in porn is not a realistic picture of what girls or guys really enjoy.
Q I don’t understand the big deal about rape jokes – they’re just a bit of fun. It seems like the feminazi’s are trying to ruin everything! Lots of people who make jokes about rape probably really hate the idea of rape but because it’s a joke, it seems ok. When we make jokes about rape – even if we know that rape is wrong – we are telling potential rapists and victims that hear the joke, that rape is not something that is taken seriously. We are re-enforcing that victims of rape should not tell anyone and there’s nothing really wrong with it anyway. Rape jokes make light of rape and rape in any circumstance, is not funny.