Q When I’ve watched porn, the guys all cum on the girls face or on her boobs. This really grosses me out and I’m scared that my boyfriend will want to do it. What should I say to him? This is a really good opportunity to talk with your boyfriend about what you like and don’t like and what he likes and doesn’t like.  Often these conversations are easier to have when you’re fully clothed and doing something else! Many people don’t like the things that porn teaches us about sex and so it’s really important that you can talk to your partner about these things. Remember that porn gives us a very narrow view of women, men and sexual activity – like all movies, it’s not real. Porn also has a bad habit of portraying men as sexually aggressive and women as objects to have sex TO not have sex WITH.
Q Should people watch porn while having sex? Everyone has different ways of getting excited and again, exploring your sexual desires is a natural and healthy thing. I guess the thing to be mindful of is that porn can create some very unrealistic expectations about sex, sexual acts, what women look like, what men look like and what people enjoy in sexual relationships. With all of this in mind, it’s really up to you and your partner to communicate with each other and decide if you are both happy to include this in your sexual relationship.
Q Is it normal if I find it hard to cum? Again, everyone is different and will experience sex differently.  It may be reassuring to know that 30 – 50% of people in their teens to 20's have never experienced an orgasm.  Some of the things that can impact on whether you cum or not include;  feeling comfortable and confident with your own body, knowing your body and what you enjoy as well as honestly communicating with your partner about what you like (if you are in a sexual relationship).
Q What is rape culture? Rape culture is a complex series of beliefs that encourages male sexual aggression and supports violence against women. It is a society where violence is seen as sexy. In a rape culture, both men and women assume that sexual violence is a fact of life and that there is nothing that anyone can do to change that. It’s a culture that teaches, “Don’t get raped” instead of “Don’t rape”. It is a culture where men are expected to be hyper-masculine (aggressive, tough, and violent) and women are expected to be submissive and sexually objectified (compliant, passive, and sexually available).  Clearly, this belief is wrong. Most men are not sexually violent. And no woman ever ‘asks’ to be raped. The problem is that rape culture limits us to behaving in one particular way and people are so much more than some dumb stereotype sold to us by people that want our money.